« RESEARCH FINDS SIMPLE RITUALS ARE WHAT CREATE THE BEST FAMILY MEMORIES | Main | PARENT TIPS FOR A SMOOTHER, MORE POSITIVE SCHOOL YEAR »
MOMS BEWARE: KIDS ARE MORE AGGRESSIVE ON PLAYGROUNDS - Schools Ban Contact Sports
By Michele Borba | July 23, 2006
I was recently asked by CNN Headline News to comment on an USA Today article — a fascinating story that every parent should have read. (Not it!” More schools ban games at recess.” The URL is posted below). The story stated that many elementary schools have banned contact sports such as tag, soccer, touch football and dodgeball at recess. The reason was due to the upsurge of student injuries (broken bones, dislocated fingers, etc).
As a teacher and mom, I agree that we need to do everything to keep our kids safe. But what concerns me is that there’s something deeper to this that is going to get swept under the table. So read on: Scores of researchers are confirming that our children are becoming more aggressive at younger ages. Seriously! Yale University did an incredible study. Over 4000 preschools were involved, and thousands of 3 and 4-year-olds were tracked in the study. I’ll share more about those results you in other blogs but the most important finding should chill you:
One in ten 3 or 4-year-olds are being expelled in preschools for aggressive, bullying behaviors each year. In fact, more preschoolers are expelled each year for aggression than high school-aged students.
Beware, parents: Aggression is LEARNED. We are allowing those cruel, aggressive behaviors to escalate in our children. The reason for banning those contact sports is that our kids are seriously hurting other kids. And this is happening not just on those playgounds. It’s a serious issue in our buses, parks, homes, school bathrooms, and in our neighborhoods.
So what do we do to help our kids be safe? I say we better start doing two things, and and do them quickly.
1. We must be serious and stop youth aggressive behaviors before they’re allowed to become entrenched in their behavior. Two and three years of age are when kids first learn these behaviors — not school-age. We need to call out aggressive behaviors the minute we see kids displaying them, and do so ASAP: “That’s not how we act. Stop now, please. Here is the way to act nicely.” Then we must teach children “replacer behaviors” - or alternatives that are healthier.
2. We must also help all children learn ways to handle bullies. That process is called bully-proofing. There are specific skills we can teach to minimize the likelihood that our kids will be victimized. I am so concerned about this, I wrote a book called NOBODY LIKES ME, EVERYBODY HATES ME (Jossey-Bass Publisher) that teaches 25 essential skills to help kids handle the vicious social jungle. If you’re interested, you may want to refer to it as a starting source.
I’m passionate about this subject. It’s serious. Our kids are hurting. We (parents and educators) need to get on board together. The majority of the work I do is to try and PREVENT aggressive, anti-social behaviors before they become entrenched. I’ll be writing a lot about this issue, because it troubles me so. But I also am addressing this because we can do something.
This trend is preventable. We CAN turn this troubling trend around. And we better start now.
Are you with me? Are you seeing the rise in kid aggression? Are your children being impacted?
The URL in USA Today about the article is: “http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2006-06-26-recess-bans_x.htm. I hope you read it. Then I hope you spread it to other parents and teachers so we can start a dialogue.
I’ll be adding to my blog over the next weeks scores of proven practices parents, schools and even countries are suggesting to stop aggressive behaviors. The best news is that these practices do reduce aggression. I hope they’ll be helpful for you and your kids.
All the best!
Michele Borba
Founder of www.simplemommysecrets.com
Topics: Parents Do Make A Difference, Building Moral Intelligence and Character, Bullying and Violence Prevention |
Comments
You must be logged in to post a comment.