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The CALM Strategy to Help Your Child Stand Up to Bullies
By Michele Borba | May 2, 2007
REALITY CHECK: Did you know that research finds that kids who learn how to be assertive and appear more confident are less likely to be targeted by bullies?
I promised I would write a few bully-proofing strategies I shared with parents last week on Canadian tour with the Boys and Girls Clubs of Canada. One of the most popular strategies is one I created called CALM from my book NOBODY LIKES ME, EVERYBODY HATES ME). You can teach it to your child. Here are the four steps.
1. C – Calm down. Bullies are more likely to pick on kids who react and look upset. Stress to your child to “stay as cool possible.”
2. A – Assert yourself. Kids are most likely to be bullied with verbal insults. If your child can learn a quick comeback to the insult he will be less likely to be targeted again because he’s not responding.
3. L - Look at the bully. Tell your child to see a stone-faced glare or try a mean stare that looks straight through the bully. He should stand tall, holding his head high, to appear more confident and less afraid. insecure posture makes her an easy target.
4. M – If your child needs to respond, he should use a strong, firm voice and say a short, direct message. Crying, whining, insulting, or threatening only makes things worse.
And tell your child to never insult the bully back.
Remember, you’re teaching your child a brand new habit. So practice the CALM strategy over and over together until your child finally feels comfortable using CALM without your guidance.
Michele Borba
www.micheleborba.com
Topics: Parents Do Make A Difference, Bullying and Violence Prevention |
One Response to “The CALM Strategy to Help Your Child Stand Up to Bullies”
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May 8th, 2007 at 3:57 pm
I continue to be a fan of yours, not just because we share the same dynamic name, but because we are both working on contributions to building the resilience of our young people through the greatest resource they have, their parents and teachers!
I know you know about our curriculum and positive change strategies called PeaceBuilders, but I wonder if you might be interested in investigating a little bit further on how we might be able to work together.