« What Every Parent Needs to Know About Online-Predators | Main | The Secret to Raising Honest Kids »
Oprah Turns the World On to Kindness….But Don’t Forget Our Kids Need It, Too !
By Michele Borba | March 3, 2008
Okay, I admit it. I was dabbing away the tears in my hanky last night while watching Oprah’s Big Give. If you missed it, the latest Oprah venture is to put out the call for America’s most selfless person. While it’s still under the guise of a reality show (sort of), the great twist is that the talk show host is rewarding the most kind-hearted person (without he or she knowing that whoever is the last remaining Good Samaritan will receive one million dollars).
It’s not the prize that excites me, but the attention Oprah’s new way to “pay it forward” is going to put on the power of doing charitable acts—the hearts and souls of each of her “givers” will be forever changed. Really!
Studies firmly support the theory behind Oprah’s Big Give. By practicing small acts of kindness, people are often guided to perform more widespread acts of compassion even though that may not have been their original intention.
Drs. Samuel and Pearl Oliner discovered this phenomenon in their famous landmark study involving the rescuers of Jews from the Nazi persecution. In their interviews, a significant number of those rescuers they had first planned to give only limited help, but their commitment grew once they became involved and saw the impact of even their smallest kind act had on the recipient. And they were never the same. Their kind acts opened their hearts and they just kept on doing deeds of goodness. That’s miraculous stuff!
But there is another crucial parenting secret: The Oliners also discovered that how those kind-hearted rescuers were raised greatly influenced the development of their kind-hearted nature. They are important clues to help us understand how to nurture goodness in our children. Here are the four crucial parenting secrets we can use from that research to help us cultivate kindness in our sons and daughters:
• The parents strongly emphasized kindness and expected their children to apply the value to all people.
• The parents administered little physical punishment in disciplining their children, using moral reasoning instead.
• The parents tended to have close, warm, supportive relationships with their children.
• The parents modeled caring behavior in their interaction with people outside the family.
I’m betting Oprah’s new way to pay it forward is going to catch on like wildfire—and how glorious if it does. But I’m really hoping that in all the hype, we don’t forget that our kids need those same opportunities to expand their hearts as well. Oh, how I’m hoping.
Just something to think about.
Michele Borba
www.micheleborba.com
Topics: Parents Do Make A Difference |
Comments
You must be logged in to post a comment.