“THE PARENT MINUTE” Simple Changes for Big Results School's out and the neighborhood kids have chosen your home as the “cool” place to hang out. Great, eh? After all, friends do play a big part of our kids’ happiness and well-being, and one of the best ways to instill happy home memories (as well as keep an eye-out for who your child is hanging around) is by making your house “kid friendly.” But you know the reality: Whenever kids get together, blissful, happy times are not always the outcome....

Mom and Dad, wake up: If you assume your child is using that fancy home computer to stimulate his brain, think again. The hottest new trend has kids using those keyboards to send vile, hateful and highly slanderous messages about their peers through the Internet. Once confined to playgrounds, bullying has hit cyberspace, cell phones and pagers, and it’s both serious and sophisticated. So what should a parent do if their child is cyberbullied? The first step is for parents to be aware of just...

“THE PARENT MINUTE” Simple Changes for Big Results Any new social scene can be really tough. Having all new classmates, joining a brand-new group of kids on a soccer team, transferring to a new school, going away to camp alone and most of all moving isn’t easy. And oh how kids can pour on the guilt to remind us they’re not happy campers: “You’re ruining my life!” “Why are you sending me to that dumb old school?” “Why can’t we move back to our old neighborhood? Do you have any idea how unhappy...

Teasing is one of those unpleasant aspects of growing up, but the plain truth is certain kids sure do seem to get more than their fair share. Of course, we tell our children to just “shrug it off” and “not take it so seriously,” but some kids just can’t. Those verbal barbs sting! While we can’t stop kids from saying nasty stuff to our children, we can do things to reduce the chances our sons and daughters will be targeted. The best way is by teaching them how to respond in a way that...

“THE PARENT MINUTE” Simple Changes for Big Results “If your child is shy, chances are he was born with a more introverted, sensitive personality. So this is not about trying to turn him into an extrovert. After all, you can’t change your child’s personality and natural temperament. But you can help your child learn the skills he needs (and deserves) to feel more comfortable and confident with your kids. And that is doable because of this fact: shyness doesn’t have to be debilitating. So let’s...

“THE PARENT MINUTE” Simple Changes for Big Results "It’s mine.” “But I had it first.” “I want a turn!” Sound familiar? All parents want their kids to “play nice” by sharing, taking turns, and cooperating with their friends. After all, it means their child is learning how to socialize and get along. It also signifies a big moment in moral development and social growth since once a child can share it means he’s transitioned from the “egocentric” stage (in which the world basically revolves...

What were you thinking?” “But didn’t you tell the kids it wasn’t right?” “You did what?!!@!” Are you concerned that your kid always seems to go along with the crowd? Does she have a tough time speaking up and letting her opinions be known? Have you noticed that your child can be easily swayed to do what the other kids want? Some kids may call him a Wimp or a Scaredy Cat, your terms may be more along the lines of submissive, follower or even push over. This may not seem such a big deal now, but...

Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me Friends obviously do play an enormous role in our kids’ lives. We also know the ability to make friends is not inherited, but involves a number of skills which can all be learned. That means parents can make a big difference on their kids social lives. Our real parenting goal should not be to try and produce popular kids, but to help them gain the confidence they’ll need to deal successfully with any social situation. After all, that’s a major part of what...

Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me Friends obviously do play an enormous role in our kids’ lives. We also know the ability to make friends is not inherited, but involves a number of skills which can all be learned. That means parents can make a big difference on their kids social lives. Our real parenting goal should not be to try and produce popular kids, but to help them gain the confidence they’ll need to deal successfully with any social situation. After all, that’s a major part of what...

Being "in" is every child’s dream, but being excluded is painful. There’s nothing worse than sitting alone in the cafeteria or not getting the invitations. Cliques rule. Trying to break in can be as tough as trying to make it into an exclusive country club or sorority. This isn’t about trying to make your child Miss or Mr. Popularity – this is about helping your child avoid a diet of put-downs and as much as you wish, you can’t take away your child’s pain from exclusion nor promise her that...

Many historians feel that one of Winston Churchill’s greatest speeches was given at a graduation ceremony at Oxford University. He had worked on the speech for hours. When the moment finally came, Churchill stood up to the cheering crowd, and in a strong, clear voice shouted just three words, "Never give up!" He paused a few seconds and shouted the words again, "Never give up!" He then reached for his hat and slowly walked off the podium, satisfied that he had told the graduates the messages...

Ways to Minimize Our Nagging and Maximize Their Learning "Homework time" in many families can be very stressful and tension-filled for both child and parent. Research clearly says doing homework enhances not only children’s learning but also essential skills they will need to succeed in school and in life such as organization, problem solving, attention span, memory, goal-setting and "stick-to-it-ness" Here’s just a few tips to make homework time more successful for your child and you....

It’s hard finding a parent these days who isn’t worried about their kids’ emotional well-being. And rightly so! In my work as a consultant in schools, one of the biggest trends I’m seeing with all kids is an increase in aggression and anger. Whether we care to admit it or not, the steady onslaught of violent images on television, video games, the Internet, movies, music lyrics, and in our newspapers are hurting our children. The result: too many kids are becoming desensitized to violence, and...

Brainstorming is a way of finding possible solutions to problems. In brainstorming, you let your imagination flow. You try to come up with as many ideas as possible in a short time. Wild ideas count - let your creativity go! No criticism or evaluation of ideas. It's okay to add on to someone else's idea. First, list some problems you'd like to consider. Pick one of the above problems and brainstorm solutions to it. PROBLEM: POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS I'd Consider Won't Consider Rank Order 1. a a a 2....

(mini-poster) Help kids learn to take responsibility for controlling their behavior by calming down.

(mini-poster) Help kids learn to set an expectation of how to teach others.

Building Moral Intelligence There are obviously hundreds of worthwhile resources on violence prevention. My goal was to base this report on what I considered to be some of the most credible and proven sources. While research on violence prevention is endless, what we need is only the best and most doable sources. I offer some of my favorites that I find provide realistic solutions that are theory-based and proven. “Annual Report on School Safety” October, 1998. Available: The U.S. Department...

Building Moral Intelligence No longer can any of us believe that we and our children are immune to lethal youth violence, because today almost every teenager in America goes to school with a kid who is troubled enough to become the next killer – and chances are that kid has access to the weapons necessary to do so. - James Garbarino, author Lost Boys Since World War II, there has been a sevenfold increase in serious assault by juveniles in the United States. 1996 Uniform Crime Report....