7 Ways to Squelch Kid Insensitivity & Boost Empathy
Parenting advice to curb insensitivity, boost emotional intelligence and increase empathy in our children “Why should I care how he feels? He’s not my friend.” “So what if I made him cry. He’s a wimp.” “How was I supposed to know he would take it so bad? I was just joking.” Sensitizing children to how someone else feels is a significant and serious enterprise. Kids can’t do this alone--they must be supported, supervised, and encouraged to develop sensitivity and consideration, and parents play...
Countering A Too Sexy, Too Soon Culture for Our Daughters
Parenting advice to raise strong, secure girls from the inside out and counter those racy, raunchy "what you have to look like" type images that rob self-esteem These days it’s almost impossible to not read the diet of some pencil-slim celeb. Photos of them all to often leaving some nightclub (drink in hand) wearing some highly revealing outfit and unmistaken "sexy look" are blasted on every news channel and magazine cover. But have you wondered if those images influence our daughters values...
Raising Only Children
What research says on how onlies turn out and parenting advice for raising the fastest growing kid breed. Tips I shared on NBC TODAY Your Trivia Pursuit question of the day: "What do these famous folks all have in common?" Cary Grant. Elton John. Chelsea Clinton. Alan Greenspan. Gerald Ford. John the Baptist. Laura Bush. Hans Christian Anderson. Lance Armstrong. Pierce Bronson. Carol Burnett. Walter Cronkite. Leonardo da Vinci. Mahatma Gandhi. Rudi Giuliani. Robert de Niro. Eleanor Roosevelt....
Parenting in a Digital World Series: Part I
A special report on the impact of technology on our children and advice for parenting our Generation Text kids in today's digital world. Reality Check: The average 8 to 18 year old is now plugged in to some kind of digital device an average of 7 1/2 hours a day [Kaiser Family Foundation survey]. The digital world is clearly now mainstream, but what impact does it have on our youth? "More than we recognize," would be the answer from many researchers. And I agree. New and troubling reports are...
Bully-Proofing Kids
Parenting advice to help your child be less likely to be bullied -- what you and your child need to know REALITY CHECK: By some estimates, one in seven American schoolchildren is either a bully or a victim. Studies find that 160,000 children skip school every day because they fear being attacked or intimidated. And make no mistake: bullying impedes our children’s learning, boosts their stress, and is disastrous to their mental health. While you can’t always be there to step in and protect your...
Raising Self-Reliant Kids
Parenting strategies to help kids solve their problems, be self-reliant, bounce back from failure and not use us as their managers, arbiters and palm pilots A mom was running late as she drove her two sons to school. “Can we pleeeease go back?” her six-year-old pleaded. “I forgot my stamps for show-and-tell.” Any other day, this mom would have made a quick U-turn to retrieve the forgotten item. She’d done just that—more than a few times. But something clicked in her head: “If I’m always...
Why Oldest Kids Are Smarter
Research that puts the "Nature vs Nurture" debate into a whole new dimension. Four proven strategies that boost kids' IQ and all are unplugged and don't cost a dime (Yes! Yes! Yes!). It's Not All Nature, Folks! Well, well, well. It looks like we can finally ease our parenting guilt (a little anyway) enough to put down those flash cards and forget playing those brainy baby tapes. It turns out parents really are their kids best IQ booster. For nearly a century, child development experts have...
7 Ways to Boost Kids’ Emotional Intelligence
Research shows that boosting our children's emotional intelligence and ability to read nonverbal cues can enhance their ability to fit in, get along, bounce back and handle life. Did you know that most of the time our kids aren’t listening to our words nearly as much as watching our posture, gestures and facial expressions and hearing the tone of our voice? Albert Mehrabian, author of Silent Messages, conducted a series of classic studies and found that the percentage of communication actually...
Ending Homework Battles
Parenting tips to help reduce those homework battles and help kids develop study skills You can't make me!" "Why do I have to do homework?" "Can't I pleeeeease just go to bed?" “Homework time” can be very stressful and tension-filled for both child and parent. According to a survey by Public Agenda almost half of all parents of school-age students said they have arguments involving tears or yelling with their kids about homework. One third of parents admit those school assignments cause...
Mean Girls and Relational Aggression Solutions
Steps to reduce female cruelty and relational aggression and raise compassionate, respectful girls Forget “sugar and spice and everything nice.” Research too often shows a different picture with all too many of our daughters. “Vicious, mean, calculating and backstabbing” are more applicable descriptions. Psychologists call such hurtful behavior “Relational Aggression” or RA because the goal is to damage the victim’s social standing or reputation by intentionally manipulating how others view...
Raising Kinder Kids in a Crueler World
Proven tips to nurture compassion children and reduce peer cruelty Last fall I was on the East Coast helping a small school district implement a character education program. My first meeting was with a district administrator to assess the students’ needs, and the discussion has haunted me ever since. I began by inquiring about the district's high school, but each student issue I addressed-drug use, attendance, gangs, test scores, school violence, racial tensions, and drinking--didn’t appear to...
Parent Stress Affecting Our Kids
Study shows kid pick up on parental stress far more than we know with tragic impact. Watch out! The kids are watching and wish WE WOULD TAKE A TIME OUT! Parenting Alert: Our Stress Is Trickling Into Our Families..and the Kids Say, "CHILL!" On a recent drive to Los Angeles I passed a billboard on the freeway: "Recession 101: Stop obsessing about the economy. You're scaring the children." Those words hit hard. After all, these are tough times. Job insecurity, an uncertain future, and the...
Curbing Toddler Frustrations and Tantrums
Parenting advice that helps reduce little ones' frustrations and temper those tantrums (work for grown-ups, too!) that I shared on Dr. Phil REALITY CHECK: Did you know that research shows that the most active (and aggressive) time EVER in our lives is between the ages of two and four? Now you know why you're tired! Toddlers are always on the go and need you to help them soothe and regulate impulsive behaviors. There are strategies parents and caregivers can use that are effective in reducing...
7 Troubling Youth Trends in the News
REALITY CHECK TIME: Bullying, depression, eating disorders, ADHD, stress, early puberty onset, plastic surgery and Botox are all on increase and in younger kids. Here is my pick of the top troubling child and teen trends, the research that shows why we better keep a closer eye on our kids, and what parents, educators and child-advocators can do to raise healthier, happier, less-stressed kids and turn these disturbing issues around. Let's face, it, parenting is the toughest role we'll ever...
Raising Respectful Children: Solutions to Youth Disrespect Crisis
Troubling data revealing a breakdown of civility and respect in today's youth. Parenting advice to turn that trend around and raise respectful children. "RESPECT: Showing you value others by treating them in a courteous and considerate way." The virtue is glorious. It's the basis of civilization and humanity. The problem is that it seems to be declining with our youth. Lessons Learned About Our Children Across the Seas I was in Hong Kong at an educational conference a few years ago to present...
My Favorite Parenting Quotes
How parenting quotes can help you stay true to your parenting philosophy Over the years I've given keynotes and workshops to thousands of parents. I've spoken in every American state, almost every Canadian province and dozens of countries on four continents. The most interesting: Hutterites in Swift Current, the most fascinating: a longhouse in Northern Alberta, the most heart-rending: foster parents in Southern California; the most rewarding: Malaysian moms in Kuala Lumpur. There is no...
Nurturing Children’s Talents
Parenting styles that raise gifted and talented kids. Parenting advice to apply the research and increase your child's natural talents and gifts. In almost 100 parenting segments I've done on the TODAY show, "Is Your Child Gifted?" received the strongest reaction. It really struck a cord among parents. (And almost every parent wrote in to express that they "knew their kid was gifted!") While the vast majority of us will never raise a Bonnie Blair, an Albert Einstein, or a Picasso, research...
Study: Puberty Onset Earlier
Puberty Onset Four Years Earlier American Academy of Pediatrics: Over a decade ago, Marcia Herman-Giddes, a pediatrician and now professor at the University of North Carolina School of Public Health, noticed many young girls in grades one to five were showing public hair and breast development,” In her words, “It seemed like there were too many, too young,” and launched a major national study involving 225 clinicians and over 17,0000 girls to prove her hypothesis. Her famous paper published in...
Kid’s Anger Danger Quiz: Part I
Have a child/teen with anger issues? Part I of a two part series on parenting advice to help kids find healthy ways to control intense feelings in a stressed-out world. Hint: Tips work for adults, too! Clenched teeth. Rapid breathing. Red face. Teaching kids a new way to cope with their intense feelings is not easy—especially if they have only practiced aggressive ways of dealing with their frustrations. The good news is that although aggression is learned, so too is calmness. Learning any...
Steps to a More Meaningful Morning
Note to my readers: I’ve partnered with Florida Orange Juice over the next few months on their campaign to help families have a healthier, happy morning start. Setting the right the morning tone can make a big difference in the rest of our children’s day. Here are a few tips Florida Orange Juice offers parents on how to “refresh” your morning and maximize those moments with your kids so they start off on a positive, happy note. Mornings are one of the busiest times for families, but a happy,...
Teen Medicine Abuse
Parenting advice about a risky teen behavior: cold and cough medicine abuse with potentially tragic consequences including addictions as well as death Risky dangers in your medicine cabinet When is the last time you checked your medicine cabinet for cold and cough syrup medications--especially those bearing the letter DXM? What about your prescription drugs? One of the riskiest teen behaviors is right in your own medicine cabinet. Taking cough and cold medications continues to be a hot craze...