Hidden Dangers of Helicopter Parenting
Why we must lower our flaps and parent for self-reliance Of course we love our kids. Of course we don’t want our kids to fail. And of course we always want them to be successful. But always doing, picking up, jumping in, solving, rescuing, or mending fences for our kids sure won’t help them learn to bounce back and survive on their own. Look down the road at the big picture. If you keep on with any hovering behavior now, how will your kids turn out later? Every once in a while, we need to...
How to Raise a Good Kid: 10 Strategies that Build Strong Character
Let's play "Back to the Future" and pretend it's twenty-five years from now. Your kids are grown and they're healthy and happy. They've now come back for a family reunion. Here's the key question: What character traits do you hope to see most in your grown child? Here's a hint and critical parenting point: Character traits differ from temperament and personality like "outgoing, reserved, sensitive, shy, laid-back" and are largely genetically coded. The temperaments of my three sons that I...
Michele Borba: How to know if your kid is really ready to fly alone (yes alone)
Thinking of having your kid fly alone to visit someone or going off to camp this summer? A review of last year’s news may make you want to rethink your plans. Here’s a recap: It seemed yet another unaccompanied minor flying to visit Grandma and Grandpa was somehow “misplaced” by the airlines. The child landed in not only in the wrong city but state! I’m well aware that airlines frequently misplace luggage (why I’ve learned long ago to never ever check a bag), but I’m still baffled as to how it...
9 Sanity Savers for Parenting and Loving Teens
Last year your daughter was so sweet, suddenly she has an “attitude.” Two months ago your son was your best bud, now he treats you like you're totally “uncool.” Welcome to the world of parenting a teenager. Throw out any of those child-rearing manuals you've used in the past. To survive this age group you need a whole new parenting perspective. Mark Twain offered one of most ingenious solutions for the teen breed. “Put them in a barrel,” he said, then and nail it shut until they turn nineteen....
The Kid Bad Attitude Epidemic: What’s your Parent Bad Attitude IQ? Here’s a quiz to find out
One of the biggest reasons bad attitudes stay is because of a number of misconceptions about them. So how is your little cherub doing in the attitude department? (Watch out: Bad attitudes are in epidemic mode!) I'm on Talk Radio today on the Armstrong & Getty Show 910KNEW (Stockton: 1280 KWSX) ; Sacramento 650 KSTE (in the Bay Area) from 8:03 to 8:27 am (that's June 22!). Topic is one of my favorites: The Curse of Entitlement - how parents can stop their kids bad attitudes. I'll post a...
Michele Borba: 10 Secrets to Stay Connected-Even Civil-With Your T(w)een
Last year your daughter was so sweet, suddenly she has an “attitude.” Two months ago your son was your best bud, now he treats you like you're totally “uncool.” Welcome to the world of parenting an adolescent. Throw out any of those child-rearing manuals you've used in the past. For the tween to teen ages you need a whole new perspective. Mark Twain offered one of most ingenious solutions: “Put them in a barrel,” he said, then and nail it shut until they turn nineteen. Only then should you let...
Michele Borba: Week’s top 5 parenting news (it’s good, bad & ugly)
It was an "interesting" week when it came to parenting stories. Findings from a Ohio State University study revealed how club membership may help reduce risky youth behavior. A new book out offers clues as to the crisis in youth empathy. A disturbing teen anti-semitic game in my own community is spurring outrage in the news. A fascinating NYTimes article reports possible dangers to the parent-child relationship with all our clicking, blogging, texting and tweeting. And a girl rescued at sea....
Students Playing “Beat the Jew” Lessons in tolerance
Most Disturbing Teen Activity: "Beat the Jew" Game La Quinta High School students have been in the news lately and now face disciplinary and possibly legal action. The problem: High school students participating in a game called "Beat the Jew." The game: Students playing the role of Nazis who blindfold and then drop off other students playing Jews who must then find their way back to the campus. "The objective is for the Jew is to run down Highway 111 to a specified checkpoint before the...
The Middle Kid Advantage
REALITY CHECK: What the research really says about those "stuck in the middle kids" and using the results to raise them. Have more than two kids? Then chances are you've heard one of these comments lately.... “It’s like I’m stuck in the middle.” “But I don’t want to do things like my sister.” “I want my own stuff not these hand me downs.” “My coach always asks why I can’t play like my brother.” Let’s face it, middle kids get a bad rap. (I know... my middle kid keeps reminding me). But it...
Raising Caring Kids
Parenting advice based on research-based tips to help us raise the kind-hearted kid every parent (oh how I hope!) wants Most parents instinctively want their children to develop a strong moral character and to care about others. In fact, according to a recent survey I conducted with Parents Magazine of over 2400 mothers, "Caring” comes in high on the list of traits today’s moms want their kids to possess. (YES!) Caring is the trait that helps sensitizes our children to different points of view...
Michele Borba: Is Your Kid Into a Couch Potato? How to Curb Kids’ TV Habits
Can’t why can’t watch TV just two more hours? But there’s nothing to do …. it’s my favorite show! Let’s face it, it’s easy for kids to fall into the TV trap of spending too much time in front of the tube. After all, it’s simple, effortless, no-brainer entertainment, and a bit addicting. Let’s admit it… it’s also easier for us. The fact is the more kids watch that tube, the more time is lost for nurturing creativity, learning sports or hobbies, playing in the great outdoors, practicing social...
MUST Watch: Natl Spelling Bee: 6 Ways to Spell F-A-M-I-L-Y F-U-N
Do you want to watch some of the best young minds of today face courage under enormous pressure? Then forget the Laker Games, Soccer's Word Cup, Dancing with the Stars or even (I know, I know...) American Idol. It's the National Spelling Bee and it airs tonight. Set that TiVO or put those chairs for your kids (and you) front and center. This is the one time you do want your kids to be plugged in and watching. Over the next two days 273 kids from all over the world will display their amazing...
What research says keeps kids safer online & 5 parenting musts! #onlinesafety
Study uncovers solutions that may help kids be less likely to be victimized online Just mention two words: “Online Predator” to a parent and be prepared for a full-blown panic attack. Few things are more terrifying than envisioning our kids being recruited for sexual relationships by some unseen force. Though we can ever fully protect our kids, one study gives parents critical information that just may help us stop the unthinkable. The recent study was conducted by the Crimes Against Children...
11 Year Old Commits Suicide Over Bullying: A Call to Adults to Step Up & Wise Up!
Again, folks. Again! Police in Port St. Lucie are investigating the apparent suicide of a fifth grader. Celina Okwuone hanged herself in her closest Thursday night and was found by her parents with a belt wrapped around her neck. Celina Okwuone, 11 years old What could possibly cause an eleven-year old child to take her life? Her diary that her parents found has the possible answer: The girl wrote that she was bullied by her classmates at St. Anatasia Catholic School. My heart goes out to...
Kid Conscience-Stretching
Every parent's first concern is the same: “Is my baby healthy?” This question is one that doctors usually can answer. Another big question is far more difficult: “Will my child become a good and decent human being?” Most doctors would have to admit that they just don’t know, and parents are often left wondering if they really do make any difference in how their kids turn out. Lately child development experts have asked the same question, and a barrage of research on children’s moral...
NH Teen Bullied -Tattoed With Obscenities- 5 Lessons to Stop A Tragedy
Bullying. It's rampant, cruel, and too much of the teen scene. But if you had even an ounce of doubt as to the extent of how vicious kids can be, this story should do it. A fourteen-year old boy was lured to a basement in a Concord, New Jersey home by teens. The high school freshman had been repeatedly bullied by upperclassmen and told him they would stop tormenting him if he got a tattoo. And so the boy who had also been trying to befriend these teens agreed. But once at the house he was...
3 Ways For Kids To ACE Social Media Guest Post By Marjie Knudsen
Note to Readers: I'm posting a blog by Marjie Knudsen below. I rarely do guest blogs but loved this one. Marjie is a writer who focuses on issues to enhance the relationship between children and the people in their lives. She's also a huge advocate of Positive Psychology and emotional and social intelligence for children and teens. You can find more about her by following her on twitter @MarjieKnudsen. Thank you, Marjie for a great post and giving me permission to publish it. 3 Ways For Kids...
Michele Borba: Ellen Galinsky’s Mind in the Making- absolute MUST read that will change lives
Let me start with full disclosure: I adore Ellen Galinsky's work. I've read all her books, follow her on twitter, love her website, Mindinthemaking.org, and have been an avid fan of the Families and Work Institute (of which she is President and Co-founder) for over a decade. Her commitment and research that focuses on early learning is stellar. But her latest book, Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs just put her in the "Child Development Expert Hall of Fame."...
Behavior Turnarounds – 5 tips I shared with Al Roker on TODAY this am
One thing has never changed: kids will be kids and that means that do sometimes misbehave. Though there are no quick-fix behavior cures or sure-proof ways to raise well-behaved kids, research shows certain strategies do increase our odds. In fact there are a few basic psychological principles that are proven to change behavior not only quicker but also for the long-term—that is, of course, if you use those them correctly and consistently. And the best news is they work with grown-ups as well...
Michele Borba: Parenting Solutions for Turning Pessimistic Kids Into Optimistic Thinkers
“Why should I bother? You know they won’t choose me.” “What’s the point? I’ll never make the team.” “Why are you making me go? You know I won’t have fun.” Let’s face it: Kids with pessimistic attitudes are among the most frustrating breeds. They give up easily, believe anything they do won’t make a difference, and assume they won’t succeed. Sadly, they rarely see the good, wonderful things of life. They dwell instead on the negative, bad parts, and often find only the inadequacies in...
Empathy Crisis: Why Children Are Crueler
EMPATHY: Identifying with and feeling other people’s concerns. Eleven-year-old Nathaniel Abraham from Pontiac, Michigan, told his friend that he was going to shoot somebody. He allegedly stole a gun and practiced his aim on stationary targets. Then he walked to a convenience store, pointed his gun at a stranger and shot Ronnie Greene Jr. in the head. The eighteen-year-old youth died hours later. The next day the sixth grader bragged about the killing to his friends. At his trial, Nathaniel...