Michele Borba: Could Your Teen Be Depressed? Do You Know the Signs?
Michele Borba REALITY CHECK: All teens can be irritable, want to be secretive, and appear and even act alien- like. But when should a parent worry—really worry about their child? Did you know that one in 12 teens suffered at least one episode of major depression in the last year? Of those, a full 60 percent are not getting treatment. That question has caused many a sleepless night for moms and dads. The more you understand typical adolescent behavior and the signs of depression, the better...
How to Stop “Poor Loser” Attitudes and Boost Sportsmanship
Michele Borba REALITY CHECK: “I should have won.” “They ought to fire the coach.” “I could have gotten the right answer. The teacher doesn’t like me.” “If I were on a better team I’d win.” Sound familiar? They’re all symptoms of a deadly youth ailment called “Poor Loser” and it’s spreading among our youth. Watching any kid be a poor loser is embarrassing, but when the kid is yours, it’s downright humiliating. Sure, your son or daughter may be the best drummer in the band, have the...
Tips to Keep Kids Safe Online
Michele Borba REALITY CHECK A survey of 3,700 middle school age students found that nearly a quarter of the eighth-graders said they were bullied online in a two-month period. Nearly half of 3,000 middle schoolers surveyed knew someone who was a victim or guilty of cyber-bullying in the last six months. Talk to your kids and monitor their online experiences. Cyber-bullying is whenever kids deliberately harass someone (peers or adults) and involves any electronic technologies such as email,...
Curbing the Youth Entitlement Epidemic
Michele Borba REALITY CHECK: Research shows that our children are born with the marvelous gift to care and be concerned about others. But unless we nurture those glorious virtues they will lie dormant. A new study shows we may not be doing such a great job. San Diego State professor Jean Twenge (author of a must-parent read: The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement) has conducted a longitudinal study on college students for narcissistic patterns and finds a troubling trend....
Raising Morally Courageous Kids Who Can Stand Up for Their Beliefs
Michele Borba REALITY CHECK: A recent Time/Nickelodeon survey of 991 kids ages nine to fourteen revealed some troubling facts: 36 percent of the middle schoolers surveyed feel the pressure from peers to smoke marijuana; 40 percent feel pressure to have sex; 36 percent feel pressure to shoplift; and four out of 10 sixth graders feel pressure to drink. “You know that was wrong. Why didn’t you just say, 'No?'” Have you found yourself mumbling those words lately? Let’s face it. Kids have always...
Simple Ways to Nurture Empathy in Our Children
Michele Borba REALITY CHECK: One strong characteristic of morally intelligent children is that they are empathic and concerned about others. An important point to remember is that while our kids are born with the potential for empathy and generosity, those traits aren't guaranteed. Researchers have discovered that a strong commonality of those kids who acquire them is how they were raised. That means parents can be enormously influential in helping their kids be concerned about others needs by...
Michele Borba: How to Stop That Whining
Michele Borba REALITY CHECK: The top reason kids whine is to get our attention. Whether they continue to use this irritating behavior is if we give in. Then they’ve learned it works! Beware: The average kid nags a parent nine times to get his way and the average kid wins by the ninth time because he wears the parent down. So don’t give in! Whining-that pitiful, loud, grating sound-is one of the most irritating of kid behaviors. The pitch is an exasperating blend of crying and nagging that’s...
Michele Borba: Tips to Get Kids to Open Up About Their World
Michele Borba REALITY CHECK: Does trying to get your kids to open up about their day feel like an inquisition? Do you feel like you're giving your kid the third degree to tell you anything about their life? If so, studies show that using different communication techniques can help kids open up and share more about their life. You: "What did you learn today?" Kid: "Nothing" You: "Do you have any homework? Kid: Nope You: "Did you make a new friend?" Kid: Yep If this sounds at all familiar,...
Michele Borba: 6 Surprising Changes That May Help #ADHD Kids in School
Michele Borba, Ed.D. REALITY CHECK Reports say that Attention Deficit Disorder (or ADD) affects up to nine[ii] percent of school-age children, but even then the medical field fears that only half of those have been properly diagnosed. Parents currently spend[i] over one billion three hundred million each year on buying one of the three leading drugs developed for kids with attention deficits. In some U.S. schools as much as 30 to 40 percent of a typical classroom of students may be taking...
Character Education: Five Steps to Teach Youth Any Character Trait
Michele Borba, Ed.D. REALITY CHECK: How do we help students develop strong character? The answer is found in this premise: Character traits are learned; therefore we can teach them. It means that educators have tremendous power because they can teach students critical character traits. And how to build students’ character involves a few steps. Teachers everywhere are voicing a concern: far too many of their students do not know the meaning of critical character traits. As a result, a growing...
Michele Borba: Too Sexy, Too Soon: How to Counter the X-Rated World So Our Daughters Grow Strong From the Inside Out
REALITY CHECK: Sure, the world these days is more X-rated, but parents have always been an excellent counterbalance to sleaze and raunchiness. Stay involved so you can help your daughter read her world with more critical eyes. Remember you really do influence your daughter’s attitudes, values, and self-esteem. Be mindful of your influence so she grows to be strong from the inside out. These days it’s almost impossible to not hear about what Brittney, Lindsay, and Paris are up to with their...
Michele Borba: Helping Girls Be Strong & Confident And Buck Negative Media Messages
Michele Borba I don’t know about you, but I’m suffering from a bad case of only what I can call “Shudder Syndrome”, and it seems to be worsening. It’s a relatively new ailment, but it always materializes when I read those disturbing statistics about young girls. I’m sure you know the ones about anorexia, depression, cutting, date rape, binge drinking, aggression, and bulimia. The list goes on and on. The minute I hear one, my ailment flares up: it always starts with a bad feeling deep down,...
Cellphone Rules to Keep Your Kids Safer from Cyberbullying
Michele Borba REALITY CHECK: Did you know that 30 percent of girls who have gone into online chat roooms say they have been sexually harassed, but only 7 percent of those girls say they told their mothers or fathers about the incidents immediately? That disturbing finding comes from the Girl Scout Research Institute survey "What Girls Say," and it's just another warning that cyberbullying is impacting our children on a number of different levels. Beware: Cyberbullying can be covert, vicious...
Michele Borba: How to Be a Calmer, Yell-Free Family — Are You Ready to Take the Challenge?
Michele Borba REALITY CHECK: Murray A. Straus,[i] the Family Research Lab at the University of New Hampshire, found that half of parents surveyed had screamed, yelled, or shouted at their infants. By the time a kid reaches seven years of age, 98 percent of parents admit to verbally lashing at their kids. These are tough times for us all, but they can be especially hard if you have kids. After all a big part of parenting is about wanting our children to be happy and shielding them from the more...
Michele Borba: Helping Your Overweight Child
Michele Borba REALITY CHECK: Did you know that almost one third of American kids and teens are considered either overweight or obese? We've read all the warnings that the long-term consequences of obesity are very serious. Not only does that child have much higher likelihood of having a hypertension, stroke, heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, asthma, and sleep apnea, but he also faces higher rates of peer rejection, low self-esteem, and depression. Of course we know that we need to...
Michele Borba: Taming Temper Tantrums and Kid Meltdowns
By Michele Borba REALITY CHECK: Research shows the longer you give a tantrum attention, the longer it lasts. The moment a meltdown begins, ensure your child's safety and then ignore, ignore, ignore. When my three-year-old doesn’t get her way, she puts on a tantrum that could win her an Oscar. What is the best way to stop her meltdowns? -Jen B., from Toronto Temper tantrums—those annoying kid wails and frails and meltdowns—are most common amongst toddlers eighteen to twenty-four. It’s one of...
Michele Borba: Back to School Shopping Tips to Help Kids Become Smart Spenders and Stick to a Budget
By Michele Borba REALITY CHECK: The National Retail Federation predicts that 85 percent of shoppers will reduce spending--a decline of about 8 percent from last year.[i] In just a few weeks those school doors will open which means it’s once again it’s time to shop for school supplies. Shopping will be especially tough this year because budgets are tight, but we still want to get our kids what they need and a few fun supplies they want. As an educator and a mom of three, I know that back to...
How to Raise a Moral Child
I recently worked with PARENTS magazine to conduct an online survey of over 2400 moms. One question: "How do you hope your child turns out?" Next to health and happiness, most parents hoped their children would grow to be adults with solid character and strong morals. One thing is certain: parents who raise moral kids don't do so by accident. We also know that home is the best school for teaching character. And the best time to teach the beliefs and habits that boost strong character are in...
When to Worry: Teen Angst or Something More?
REALITY CHECK: Did you know that 60 percent of teens are suffering--right this minute--from a serious bout of depression but are not diagnosed or receiving treatment? I know all kids can be irritable and sometimes secretive, but how do I know when my child’s behavior isn’t normal and I should seek professional help? -- Donna L., from Honolulu Hawaii All kids can be irritable, want to be secretive, and appear and even act alien- like. But when should a parent worry—really worry about their...
How to Choose Your Family Values & Become a More Intentional Parent
By Michele Borba REALITY CHECK: Parents don't raise moral kids by accident. They know what they stand for and pass those values onto their children deliberately and purposefully. So here's your Reality Check: If you sat your child down right now and asked: "What do we stand for in this house? or What values matter most to our family?" would your child be able to answer? If not, it just means you're not tuning up your values strong enough so your child adopts them for his own moral core....
How to Choose the Right Day Care
By Michele Borba Of course you want a great day care for your child. But how to you know which facility is the best one for your child? My strongest recommendation: Observe a few. And always observe when children are there. It will help you decide if it’s a place you want your child to spend part of his or her day. Here’s a few questions to ask yourself and the staff in making your final decision: 1. Does this seem like a place my child would like to be? Use your instinct on this one. Can you...