Michele Borba: 5 Sanity Savers for Those Family Road Trips
According to the Travel Industry Association, we usually take eight to ten summer car trips with the kids. Each trek is bound to be a fun family memory, right? Well, not always. Most parents’ car trip recollections consist of antsy kids repeatedly asking, “Aren’t we there yet?” Luckily, with a little preparation, you can reduce the kid squabbles and boost the “family fun factor.” This week the Today show asked me to share ways to stay sane on those kid road trips. So here are a few parenting...
Michele Borba: Publishers Weekly Review of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions (It is GREAT!)
REALITY CHECK: (This one is for me to you...) For the past three years I've been working on a parenting book that turned out to be one of the most difficult projects of my life. I probably should have read my own chapter on Perfectionism (hmmm), but my goal was to get this book perfect. It turned out to be 710 pages (ah!) with every bit of the best parenting advice I've ever given to parents. And I also included the advice I offered from 75 of my Today segments as well as literally hundreds...
Michele Borba: Could Your Kid Be Stressed-Out? Signs to Look For..
By Michele Borba REALITY CHECK: Did you know that stressed-out kids are two to four times[ii] more likely to develop depression, and as teens they are much more likely to become involved with substance abuse? What's tricky is that stress in kids can sometimes appear "disguised" as a cold, irritability, or even like a teen "attitude." Do you know how to spot stress signs in your kid? Here is a recent email query I received from a parent: Question--My eight-year old is so tense lately. She can’t...
Michele Borba: Parenting Solutions to Help Kids Handle Stress
REALITY CHECK Research finds that between 8 and 10 percent of American children are seriously troubled by stress and symptoms. Stress is also hitting our children at younger ages. If left untreated stress not only affects children’s friendships as well as school success, but also their physical and emotional well-being. Chronic stress symptoms break down children’s immune system as well as increasing their likelihood for depression. Think stress is just for adults? Not these days.One thing is...
Michele Borba: Teen Giving You the “Cold Shoulder?” If so, here are parenting solutions to thaw it.
By Michele Borba Let’s face it. Teens really are a different species --and for a variety of reasons. Raging hormones, stress, sleep deprivation, growth spurts, self-consciousness and neurological wiring make teens super sensitive, moody and irritable. Have a little empathy—they are stuck in the middle of childhood and still a bit dependent but have that surge to be independent. More physical changes are happening to their bodies that at any other developmental period. Research confirms that...
Simple Traditions That Create Happy Family Memories
By Michele Borba We're always known that laughter makes the home a happier place. But did you also know that studies have found that humor also ranks among the top qualities children value in their parents? The fact is kids do appreciate us when we're less-stressed and with a sense of humor. What better way to create happy family memories than by putting a little more laughter in your home? So how’s your humor quotient, Mom? When is the last time you belted out a great laugh with your kids,...
Setting the Right Parenting Expectations
By Michele Borba What parent doesn't hope their kids achieve and do well in life? But how do you know when you're pushing your kids too much? How do you tell when your expectations are unrealistic or just plain not right for your children? A big secret of good parenting is to know how to set expectations that gently stretch your children's abilities without snapping their spirits. Hundreds of child development studies confirm that the right parental expectations can boost children's...
The Choking Game
By Michele Borba REALITY CHECK: Do you know what skittling is? How about tussing, playing space monkey or the fainting game? Do you know which items in your medicine cabinet can give kids a “high?” If you don’t, you should—chances are your kid does. They’re all risky behaviors teens are doing these days. Many of these games have deadly consequences. While there’s certainly nothing new about teens taking risks, many of the activities they are engaged in can have deadly outcomes. The best way to...
How to Stay Connected with Your Teen
By Michele Borba A 2005 survey of over 1000 teens found that 35 percent gave their parents poor grades (D's or F's) for listening. In today’s even faster-pace, hurried world I’m betting our kids would give us even lower grades. The fact is those teen years are difficult. And our treadmill-like existences (and a teens' plugged-in world) can make the art of listening difficult. And then there's the added fact that those teen years aren't always the easiest. Many parents compare home life with a...
Michele Borba: Is Your Teen Moody or Defiant? Parenting Solutions to Help You Survive and Know When to Worry
By Michele Borba Last year your daughter was so sweet, suddenly she has an “attitude.” Two months ago your son was your best bud, now he treats you like you're totally “uncool.” Welcome to the world of parenting a teenager. Throw out any of those child-rearing manuals you've used in the past. To survive this age group and come out sane you need a whole new parenting perspective. Mark Twain offered one of most ingenious solutions: “Put them in a barrel,” he said, then and nail it shut until...
9 Sure-Fire Parenting Tips to Help Curb Sibling Rivalry
Most of us have such visions of our offspring being the world’s best buddies, but with kids living under the same roof some bickering is bound to be the outcome. The closer your kids are in age, the more likely the squabbles. While you can’t force your kids to like each other, there are ways to fend off some of those battles and some skills you can teach that will minimize jealousies, help them appreciate one another, so they are more apt to get along (and just maybe learn to like each other)....
Why Actions Speak Louder Than Words When It Comes to Building Moral Development
My first teaching job almost three decades ago was with a group of adorable six and seven-year-olds in Saratoga, California. I was also working on my doctorate at the same time and was fascinated with Harvard psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg’s new research on moral development. He believed morality is acquired in stages and could be increased by posing moral dilemmas to kids to stretch their moral reasoning. So I read everything I could on his theory and began using his ideas with my students....
10 Secrets About Kid Behavior Makeovers That Every Parent Should Know
Since you're reading this article, l'm assuming things haven’t worked as well as you’d hoped in changing your kid’s behavior. So it’s time to try a new approach. Let’s begin by reviewing a few basic principles of Behavior Makeover 101. Here are 10 key principles about changing kid behavior that every parent should know. Most behaviors … 1. Are learned: Some behaviors may be influenced by biological factors, but most are learned. For instance, the shy kid can learn social skills to become...
Six Key Parenting Strategies for A Successful Kid Behavior Makeover
Do you want to change your child's bad behavior? Have you struggled to make that change happen but so far no luck? If so, I strongly recommend you follow the six key tasks of preparation, each time you try a new behavior makeover. These simple six strategies will help you achieve long-term behavior change. Use a Makeover Journal. I urge you to write your thoughts about your child's behavior, your concerns and your action plan in what I call a “Makeover Journal.” It could be a nice leather...
Parent Mistake 4. Not Using the Rule of 21 to Change Behavior
Every day this week, I’ll be posting a different big "parenting mistake", so make sure to check back. Here is the fourth most common parenting mistake. MISTAKE #4. Not Using the Rule of 21 Solution: Faithfully stick to changing one behavior at least for three weeks to reap results. A big parenting mistake is not sticking to a behavior plan long enough. The result: No behavior change. Changing behavior is a gradual process requiring commitment and repetition. In fact, learning a new habit...
Solutions to Help Kids Handle Stress
Think stress is just for adults? Not these days. Research finds that between 8 and 10 percent of American children are seriously troubled by stress and symptoms. Stress is also hitting our children at younger ages. If left untreated stress not only affects children’s friendships as well as school success, but also their physical and emotional well-being. Chronic stress symptoms break down children’s immune system as well as increasing their likelihood for depression. One thing is certain:...
Parenting Mistake 3. Setting Unrealistic Expectations
This week I'm blogging about common parenting mistakes that we may making --and usually quite unintentionally. Being aware of them and changing our response can make a significance difference on our children's behavior, attitude and character. MISTAKE #3: Setting Unrealistic Expectations Solution: Use developmentally appropriate, realistic, child and success-oriented expectations. Research proves a powerful determiner of kids' success is the kind of expectations their parents set....
Parent Mistakes 2: Not Using The Right Words the Right Way
This week I'll be sharing common parenting mistakes that we unintentionally make with our children. Here is the second mistake I shared with Natalie Morales on the TODAY show. PARENTING MISTAKE 2. Not Using the Right Words the Right Way Solution: Be mindful of the result you are seeking and your word choice to achieve it. Research proves our word choice can have a big impact on kids' behaviors. Studies also show that the right words said at the right time are more effective in shaping...
Parent Mistake 1: Not Teaching A “Replacer” Behavior & the Parenting Solution
Of course parents want to do the right thing so their kids grow to be happy, confident and successful. But over fifty years of child development research shows we may be making a few minor parenting mistakes that could have major impact in how our kids turn out. TODAY asked me to share a few mistakes that parents routinely (and unintentionally) do that derail their efforts. So here are is my choice for the top five biggies, their impact, and simple corrections to turn them around. Research...
How to Talk to Kids About the Deaths of Michael Jackson & Farrah
Many parents say that explaining death to children is one of the toughest topics. So if you haven’t had that talk, are you ready this afternoon? Chances are highly likely that your child will ask you about death if not today then sometime soon. After all, the passing of Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett is not only front page news, but also the hot playground topic. And when kids are the ones delivering the news, chances are also high that the facts about death will be wrong. Now is the time...
10 Solutions to Bully-Proof Kids
Bullying is always intentional, mean-spirited, rarely happens only once and the victim cannot hold his own. It is not teasing. If this is happening to your child, please know that your son or daughter is not alone. By some estimates, one in seven American schoolchildren is either a bully or a victim. Reports confirm that bullying is starting at younger ages and is far more frequent and aggressive than ever before. While you can’t always be there to step in and protect your child there are ways...