Conflict Resolution for Kids
REALITY CHECK: Did you know that tweens and teens say one of their biggest daily challenges are conflicts with peers? Did you also know that a survey of hundreds of children found that a core skill both bullies and frequently targeted children lack is problem solving? The Boys and Girls Club of America surveyed over 46,000 teens coast to coast and found that one of their biggest concerns was day to day conflicts without knowing how to solve them (without a fight). A national survey found that...
17 Ways Schools Can Educate Parents About Bullying
REALITY CHECK: A meta-analysis of over 600 studies on bullying found that a key to reducing peer cruelty is parent education. I've worked in bullying prevention with hundreds of schools around the world as well as on 18 US Army bases and I find the same thing no matter where I am: parent education must be a component in effective bullying prevention. In fact, the sooner we engage and educate parents about the dynamics of bullying and the most effective strategies to reduce it, the better we...
3 Teen Trends That Pose Health Risks
Do you know what K-2, Four Loko, Spice, Blaze, Red X Dawn, Blackout in can, and Toxing are? If not, it's time to wise up and talk to your teens. Here are three dangerous teen trends every parent needs to know. K-2 or Synthetic “Fake” Marijuana Teens smoke it as the new way to get high, it’s the hot, new craze in suburban areas and becoming increasingly popular, and--as of this moment--is perfectly legal. It’s called "Spice," ''K2," ''Blaze," and "Red X Dawn,” and is really synthetic...
Bully-Proofing Strategies for Kids
Real strategies to teach kids so they are less likely to be bullied I know you’ve heard the dismal statistics or the heartbreaking stories in the news about children who were bullied. By some estimates, one in three American schoolchildren is either a bully or a victim. Let’s be clear: bullying impedes our children’s learning, boosts their stress, and is disastrous to mental health. Chances are also likely that your child will also be bullied at some time in his or her life. So have you...
Teaching Kids Safety Smarts
How would your child respond if a stranger knocked at your door? Are you sure? You'll be surprised-- advice I shared on Dateline. Imagine an adult coming to your door when you're not at home. The adult clearly looks official. He has a badge or is wearing a uniform such as a fireman or law enforcement officer. He sounds authoritative. He knocks at your door and portrays one of these situations. "Do you have milk in your refrigerator? I'm a milk inspector and need to take your milk. It's hurting...
4 S.A.F.E. Rules Every Child Should Know to Curb Cyberbullying
Four safety rules to teach kids to help them be safer online and stop cyber-bullying REALITY CHECK: Did you know that a recent survey found that almost 70 percent of adolescents say the best way for them to be safe online is through education? Are you educating your child how to be safe online? Let's face it: it is a different world, and one big crucial parenting task is to make sure that our kids learn how to be safe online. While there are dozens of talks we can have with our kids and even...
5 Strategies To Turn Family Chaos Into Calm: Advice for a family makeover I shared on Dr. Phil Show
Tantrums. Backtalk. Meltdowns. Defiance. Disrespect. Yelling. Refusing to stay in Time Out. Won't go to bed. Chaos! Those were the behaviors I faced when I went on a house call for the day to a family's home for Dr. Phil. Here's the description and my solutions for the family. Is your household in turmoil? Do you feel overwhelmed by your child’s temper tantrums? Dr. Phil and I reveal the best solutions for common parenting dilemmas and for the chaos affecting you and your marriage. The...
Discipline That Teaches Kids to Care
Barbara watched her son, Aaron, and his neighbor friend, Brent, play basketball. Just then the phone rang. Aaron ran to answer it and was back within seconds telling Brent, “Hey, Jack just called. He wants me to come over and roller blade with him. You have to go home now.” And Barbara saw her son run to grab his skates while Brent sadly walk home. She was furious and wondered, “How can he be so thoughtless?” She turned to tell Aaron just how sad he made Brent feel, then thought...
7 Deadly Questions to NEVER Ask Teens and Why
Toxic adults communication stoppers that are guaranteed to turn teens off - and your better response to keep them talking Let's face it, talking with an adolescent can be like walking through a minefield. At any moment you could be asking what you thought was a simple, sincere question only to find it triggering an explosive response. You know that communication keeps you connected to your child, but it often seems to backfire because of the type of questions asked. Research proves our...
How to Raise A “CAN DO” Kid
Parenting tips to help nurture self-esteem and positive attitudes in our children and teens If you could give your children a quality that would enhance their chances for leading successful, meaningful and fulfilling lives, what would it be? Though answers may seem endless, many experts say one of the greatest gifts would be instilling a “Can Do Attitude.” Here are eight secrets to help you raise a "CAN DO!" Kid. REALITY CHECK: Real and authentic self-esteem is a combination of a feeling of...
Helping Disorganized Kids Become Organized
Parenting advice to help disorganized, forgetful kids get organized and for kids with shorter attention spans who need to "reclutter" and learn routines “My daughter is sweet and loving but hopelessly disorganized. I’m always picking up forgotten homework assignments, putting school into her backpack and reminding her of his schedule. I worry that she’ll need a full time assistant to help her get through high school. Her room looks like a bomb hit it. School is starting up in a few days and...
The “Whining” Cure
Want to be a calmer parent? Here's how to break your kid’s annoying habit—whining-once and for all! As any parent knows, whining is one of the most irritating of kids’ habits. And although the behavior usually peaks at around 4 years of age, it can continue well into the school years. But take heart: as a mom and educational psychologist, I can tell you that whining is learned, so it can be unlearned—with the help of this four-step plan. Step 1. Establish a zero tolerance for whining The best...
Dangerous Websites for Teen Girls That Teach Self-Harm
Websites tailored to young girls that encourage negative self-image, eating disorders and cold-blooded cruelty Note to Readers: This article was originally published in 2011 on my site when these troubling trends first started. Unfortunately, these dangerous websites are still up, teens are flocking to them and parents are largely clueless and this blog is an update. We must get and stay educated. Please preserve this copyright-and note that I am the original author. Plagiarism is not...
Teaching Kids Sportsmanship Both On & Off the Field
Watching any kid be a poor loser is embarrassing, but when the kid is yours it’s darn right humiliating. Sure, the kid may be the best violinist in the orchestra, have the highest grade point average in the class, the best cheerleader on the squad, or be the greatest hockey player in town, but the moment she starts arguing, making excuses, cheating, blaming others, or booing, her skills no longer matter. What everyone sees instead is a poor loser, and that’s a tough image to erase. A “win at...
7 Tips to Get Kids Started Doing Social Justice Projects
"Until the great mass of the people shall be filled with the sense of responsibility for each other's welfare, social justice can never be attained." - HELEN KELLER The first time I realized the power of involving kids in social justice projects was when one of my sons was just four. The two of us had gone to see the movie "The Bear," and because it was rated as family oriented, I wasn’t prepared for the scene in which a bear is brutally killed. Well, neither was my four-year-old: Zach was...
Childhood Depression: Signs in Preschoolers, Kids & Teens
Parenting tips to help you understand what depression looks like age by age REALITY CHECK: Here is what’s not true about your child and depression: “She’s too young to be depressed.” “Don’t worry. It’s only a phase.” “Real depression is something only teens or adults get.” “He’ll outgrow it.” Beware that depression is now diagnosed in even toddlers! The sooner our children get the right diagnosis and the right treatment, the better the prognosis. The Kid Are Not All Right, Folks! The...
9 Ways to Curb Teen Drinking and Driving Dangers
Parenting advice I shared on the Dateline special, "The Perils of Parenting" to help reduce risky teen drinking and driving behaviors that might even save your teen's life! See also my post, 11 Driving Tips That May Save Your Teen's Life Would your kid get in the car with a drunk driver? You won't believe what most teens do... This year I had the pleasure of working as the parenting expert with Kate Snow and Dateline producers on a unique special for parents called, "The Perils of Parenting."...
How to Raise An Unspoiled Kid
Parenting advice to help us raise strong, caring, unspoiled kids and reduce that "Big Brat Factor" element that seems to be a growing problem with kids these days. Our most important role is raising our kids to become capable, well-adjusted human beings. And in this consumer-driven, plugged-in, hyper-competitive me first, materialistic-pushing world, it’s not always so easy. The fact is we seem to have a lot of "gimme" Me-Me-Me kids these days. Bad attitudes are far more deadly than mere...
Proven Benefits of Getting Kids to Write Thank Yous
Fun ways to get kids to write those thank you notes ...without whines … and the proven value of doing so! (It's worth it!!) Did you know that writing a "thank you" note is a simple, proven way to boost your child's gratitude? That's what researchers from the University of California at Davis and Southern Methodist University found. But that's not all: Researchers also discovered that being thankful might be the key to raising your child's happiness and well-being. For the past ten years two...
11 Driving Tips That May Save Your Teen’s Life
REALITY CHECK: Nearly 10,000 youths have died as passengers in car crashes. Of those crashes, 54% were riding with a teen driver. Car crashes are the leading cause of death for tweens and teens. See also my post, 9 Ways to Curb Teen Drinking and Driving Dangers This week yet there were more sobering headlines in our own local papers: two more horrific car crashes involved teens from our local high schools. Both crashes happened within a few days of one another. Three teens lives were cut...
7 Cyber “Don’ts” That Help Keep Kids and Teen Safer Online
REALITY CHECK: One survey found that half of three thousand U.S. children surveyed during the previous six months said they or someone they know had been victims or guilty of cyberbullying. Talk to your kids and monitor that computer! Our kids are called the “Net Generation” and for good reason. After all, this is the first group born into the era of Ipods, cell phones, text messaging, websites, podcasts, and blogs. But it’s also caused many a parent to lose a good night’s sleep with images of...