Educating for Character
Five steps to boost children's character and moral intelligence The teacher read Alfred's misbehavior report and shook her head. It was his third playground citation this week and like the others it was about his derogatory, disrespectful comments. “Alfred you can’t keep saying negative things to people,” she explained. “You’ve got to start acting more respectfully.” “I’ll try,” he responded sadly. “The problem is I just that I don’t know what ‘respectfully’ means.” Sound familiar? Teachers...
Time for Mental Detectors: 5 Ways To Stop Another Tragedy & My CNN Report
Chilling details continue to emerge three months after South Hadley High school freshman, Phoebe Prince, took her life. Descriptions of relentless vicious taunts, endless physical threats and horrifying bullying she endured at the hands of her peers leave us shaken. Now news sources have obtained two essays Phoebe Prince wrote for her high school English class. This week CNN asked me to comment on those essays. “Should the teacher have turned Phoebe’s essay to a counselor?” they wanted to...
Michele Borba Blog: AGAIN! What’s it take to recognize bullying hurts? Proof!
This week CNN-HLN emailed me the following story for my comments. "Mom: Bullying Led To Daughter's Hospitalization Foxborough Woman Says Girl's Been Bullied For Months" I read the headlines and had that knee-jerk response that I'm getting too often these days. What's it going to take folks so we finally get serious about bullying? How many more victims are going to hospitalized from serious emotional distress? How many more kids are going to have to take their own lives? Can we please get...
The Effort and School Success Connection
REALITY CHECK: We need to teach our kids the value of effort. Doing so helps children recognize that a large part of success is controllable; it’s all a matter of how much personal effort and work they choose to put into a task. We can make an immense difference on our children’s potential if we emphasize effort and stress: “It’s not good enough just to start, you have to finish.” I'm preparing a keynote address to give tomorrow for the National Business Education Association. Teachers are...
Kid Shoplifting: Know the signs!
REALITY CHECK: Did you know that one in four kids shoplift? You see your child take a candy bar from the store and put it in her pocket. You notice your daughter is playing with a Barbie that you told her she couldn’t have at the store. You find a video game in your son’s closet, and know it doesn’t belong to him. The one behavior that’s guaranteed to shake up even the calmest parent is discovering that their kid has stolen something. Be assured that stealing is far more common than you might...
Michele Borba Blog: Boosting Kids’ Success Quotients by Building Positive Self-Beliefs
Regardless of what state or country I’m in, the question I’m asked most frequently by parents at my workshops is, “What’s the most important thing I can do to help my child succeed?” For five years I surveyed over 10,000 teachers from coast to coast and their number one response everywhere was, “Help children learn to believe in themselves.” For our children to succeed, they must first believe they can succeed. Here are four steps you can take to develop positive self-beliefs and boost your...
Michele Borba Blog: Teen Drinking and Substance Abuse Up – 4 Key Parenting Lessons
After almost a decade of a decline in teen drug abuse, a new survey out this month shows a marked and troubling upswing in youth substance abuse. While there are some encouraging stats, the overall findings should make every parent keep an even closer eye on their child and not only in our own homes. Case in point, this little factoid: The study found that the place where teens are most likely to encounter drugs is at parties and other social situations. While that may not seem shocking, what...
Manipulation: The kid habit you have to break!
Learn the sneaky tactics kids use to get her way—and what to do about them. “Dad said I could.” “I promise I’ll do it tomorrow.” “My stomach hurts; I can’t go to school.” Do these manipulative tactics sound rather familiar? I’ll bet. As a mom, educational psychologist and former teacher, I know all too well that kids are masters at this particular art: Making excuses, blaming, and fibbing are just a few of the devices they use to get what they want. The thing is, kids aren’t born scheming and...
Michele Borba Blog: Why we must talk to kids about drinking sooner and how to do so
You say: “Why should I talk to my child about drinking, he isn’t even a teenager!” I say: “That’s exactly when you should talk to your kid about alcohol. In fact, the earlier the better." Did you know that kids are having their first drink three and a half years earlier than kids from the baby boomer generation? Here are a few other little morsels for a reality check ( or another sleepless night). 7 percent of fourth-graders, more than eight percent of fifth graders have drunk beer liquor or...
Michele Borba Blog: 1 in 20 kids now depressed: Know signs that could save a child
Always moody. Easily agitated. Sleeps in. Says, “Nobody cares.” Sounds like a typical teen, right? Well not always. Did you know that depression now strikes one out of 20 teens? What’s more, the rates of childhood depression are not only increasing but are also impacting younger kids. A kid today is ten times more likely to be seriously depressed compared to a child born in the first third of this century. This week the tragic news of the suicides of about Marie Osmond's 18 year old son as...
Helping Kids Rebound from Mistakes
Many historians feel that one of Winston Churchill's greatest speeches was given at a graduation ceremony at Oxford University. He had worked on the speech for hours. When the moment finally came, Churchill stood up to the cheering crowd, and in a strong, clear voice shouted just three words, "Never give up!" He paused a few seconds and shouted the words again, “Never give up!” He then reached for his hat and slowly walked off the podium, satisfied that he had told the graduates the messages...
Talking to Kids About Layoffs and Tough Times
I'm sure you've read those dismal reports about job insecurities: the U.S. unemployment rate is now at the highest level since 1993. We are stressed and worried and rightly so, but so too are our kids. I’ve received a number of email queries lately from parents asking for guidance. And did a segment on the TODAY show, "Daddy, why did you lose your job?" Let's face it, these tough financial times are forcing many parents to answer very tough questions from their children. Here are just a few:...
Helping Shyer Kids
Parenting advice to help your shyer, more sensitive kids feel more comfortable in social settings and join in the fun of life QUESTION: "We have an eleven-year-old son who is extremely shy. Whenever we introduce him to new people, he barely acknowledges their existence and looks so uncomfortable. If another kid tries to have a simple conversation with him, he becomes almost mute. What can we do to help him feel more confident with people—especially those his own age? " - Marsha, a mother of...
Stopping Bullying Step 2: Gathering Data
Part 2: How to Stop Bullying Using Proven Strategies. Let's put an end to peer cruelty now! Here's how.... Bullying Increasing In Industrialized Nations Bullying among our youth is a significant problem--and it is steadily increasing. We also know that bullying is increasing in every industrialized nation: Japan, Canada, Australia, England, Finland...the list goes on. Not a day goes by when I'm not contacted by a school, organization, country or parent asking for help. Need proof? Here is...
Dangerous Teen Activity: Dexing, Skittling, Robo-Tripping In YOUR Medicine Cabinet #Parenting
PARENT REALITY CHECK: Do you know the signs of cold and cough syrup medicine addiction? If not, it's time to get educated. If you need any motivation read these troubling stats: One out of every fourteen kids aged 12 to 17 (more than 2.4 million) admit using cold or cough medicine “fairly recently” to get high. Only 45 percent of teens believe that abusing cough medicine to get high is risky. Every parent worries about drugs, but did you ever think that some of your biggest nightmares might be...
Dangerous Teen Activities: Are Your Kids Buying Blow?
Earth to parents: Are you aware of the energy drink called, "blow?" If not you should. I know. Kids will be kids. But there are certain risky behaviors kids, tweens, and teens do that parents better wise up, get educated about and step in. Allowing kids to use an energy drink called, "Blow" is one of those times. The drink is available for kids to buy online and may be coming to a store near you. The product is causing an uproar amongst the medical profession, substance abuse counselors as...
Eating Disorders in Children and Teens
Parenting advice to help you identify the early signs of an eating disorder in children and what to do is you suspect your daughter (or son) has one “An eating disorder? Impossible!” “Not my daughter!” Disbelief is usually our first response when we read the headlines about anorexia, bulimia and binging. But the fact is at least ten percent of all adolescent girls suffer from eating disorders. Boys now make up about 30 percent of younger children with eating disorders. The disease has no...
Michele Borba Blog: Helping kids learn to take tests, reduce jitters and boost scores
It’s that time again for one of kids more dreaded four-letter words: T.E.S.T. These days it seems even for many kids even if they’ve studied hard and done their homework when test day comes they’re hit with a wave of panic. Butterflies hit their stomach and their heads are filled with a wave of negative thoughts: “I’m going to flunk.” “I’m so dumb.” And then their mind goes blank. Make no mistake, test-taking anxiety can be costly to our children academic success as well as their...
Michele Borba Blog: Kids plugged in 71/2hrs a day: My TODAY show report & 5 parent tips
On Thursday Jan 21 on NBC's TODAY I spoke withMeredith Vieira about a newly released report by The Kaiser Family Foundation on 2002 people ages 8 to 18 and their media use. I spent time reviewing the 130 plus page report and admit that the findings are troubling. It found that kids media use has dramatically increased in the last five years. Kids now spend seven hours and 38 minutes using media in a typical day. Any electronic media was counted in the mix including listening to music,...
Michele Borba Blog: I was parenting expert yesterday on Dr. Phil (Mom’s Biggest Battles) Here’s link…
Mom's Biggest Battles! Dr. Phil asked me to appear as the parenting expert yesterday on his show. This is the fifth time I've appeared on a Dr. Phil show. Past topics have been children of incarcerated parents, how to talk to your child about sexual predators, over-parenting vs free range, and out of control kids, but this was by far my favorite topic: Mom's Biggest Battles. Other panelists on the show included a few of my favorite women: Linda Murray, editor-in-chief of BabyCenter.com (this...
Nurturing Empathy In Children
Moral IQ Tip: Children are likely to be more empathic if they understand why empathy is important and how it affects others. So point out the positive impact empathy can have on others in daily experiences. One strong characteristic of morally intelligent children is that they are empathic. These kids can identify with and feel other person’s concerns. What a miraculous ability! To me there is no greater virtue: empathy is the foundation of your child’s moral intelligence. Boosting it in our...