10 Worst Things Parents Do to Ruin Kids’ Social Lives
Let’s face it, friends play an enormous part of our children’s self-esteem and success quotient for life. I’m often asked whether parents really can influence their children’s ability to make friends. My answer is always a resounding: “Yes!” After all, parents can be a tremendous impact on kids’ social lives, but they can hinder and even harm their children’s friendship chances as well.” Here are ten ways parents can rain on their kids’ social parade. (That’s a hint: so watch out, Mom and Dad!...
Why kids turn violent: My CNN report
This week CNN asked me to comment on why children turn violent. The CNN HLN news story involved an 11 year old Florida girl and her 15 year old boyfriend who are accused of plotting to kill the girl's mother by pouring gasoline on her bed and bedroom floor, and then igniting it while the women slept. The mother was awakened by a smoke alarm and managed to escape but suffered serious burns and smoke inhalation. The girl and boy escaped in the mother's car. The young couple is now held on...
Michele Borba Blog: 10 discipline secrets all parents should know
Let's face it, raising kids is never easy, and especially so these days. We lie awake agonizing over our parenting skills and questioning our choices. (Okay.. not you, but the parent next door, right?) But there are a few secrets that will make parenting less stressful and help our kids act the way we want and without even having to sell him on E-Bay. Really! I promise! The most important discipline secret is this: Behavior is learned, which means bad behaviors can be unlearned. Think about...
Michele Borba Blog: My Top 10 Favorite Parenting Solutions
In the process of writing, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions, I combed child development studies and picked the brains of dozens of parents. My goal was to compile the best proven and practical tips for raising kids 3 to 13. The end product is the size of a phone book (No kidding!). Meredith Viera on the TODAY show picked it up, said it was amazing and then jokingly stated that you could also bob the kid on the head with it it's so darn big. (Gotta love Meredith -- and I do). But please know...
Michele Borba: Will Amy Winehouse’s alleged assault affect your tween’s character? (Check for answer….)
Should parents worry about those tarnished kid role models (ie Amy, Jamie Lynn, Britney, Owen, Barry, Paris, Lindsay, etc, etc. etc.)? So it appears that Amy Winehouse has been charged today over alleged assault at a children's play. Unfortunately, Amy is just another of a growing list of celebs who seem to be members of a select group called the Hall of Shame. Jamie Lynn Spears. Britney Spears. Barry Bonds. Paris Hilton. Lindsay Lohan. Oh they win accolades and prizes all right, but also seem...
Michele Borba Blog: My Rubber Band Test for Setting Expectations I Shared on Dr Phil
Let's face it: the expectations we set for our children do affect their self-esteem and capacity to succeed. This week I taped another fun segment with Dr. Phil on the "Overparenting" vs. "Underparenting" craze. (It has yet to air... but should be up on the schedule soon). He asked me what advice I had for a mom who was clearly in "Helicopter Mode" -- how could she scale back and change her Black Hawk Mode ways? And how, he asked, would she know if she's pushing too hard or not enough? I...
Thawing Your Teen’s Cold Shoulder
When it comes to teens, parents sometimes feel like they're dealing with a different species all together. Things like raging hormones, stress, sleep deprivation, growth spurts, self-consciousness and neurological wiring make teens super sensitive, moody and irritable. They're stuck in the middle of childhood and adulthood with the an urge to be independent. More physical changes are happening to their bodies that at any other developmental period in their life. Research confirms that their...
Michele Borba Blog: 5 Tips for a Gimme Less Xmas (and Why It’s Better for Kids)
If you ever had even the slightest bit of guilt about saying “No" to your kids materialistic whims, you can kiss those feelings away. A University of Minnesota study confirmed what every parent has instinctively known deep down: We're not doing our kids any favors by giving in to their every whim and spending urge. Deborah Roedder John and Lan Nguyen Chaplin, the lead authors of the study, found that materialistic kids are less happy, more anxious, feel less secure, have lower self-esteem, are...
How to Respond When Kids Make Mistakes So They’ll Try Again..and Again…
Q My child hates to make a mistake, and if he does he’s just devastated. I’ve probably not done the best job of responding. How should I help my son bounce back? Dania M from Bolder Colorado Of course we want our kids to succeed. And how we hate it when they fail. But the truth is life isn’t a bed of roses. Our kids will fail and suffer disappointments. An important parenting secret is helping our children learn how to bounce back from defeat and disappointments, and how we respond when they...
Raising Do-Gooders: Getting Kids To Do Service Projects
The first time I realized the power of involving kids in social justice projects was when one of my sons was just four. The two of us had gone to see the movie The Bear, and because it was rated as family oriented, I wasn’t prepared for the scene in which a bear is brutally killed. Well, neither was my four-year-old: Zach was devastated, and he sobbed all the way home. At some point during our drive, he exclaimed adamantly that the president of the United States should make a rule against...
Michele Borba Blog: College frosh depression crisis-What parents MUST do during holidays to ensure all is well with your teen
REALITY CHECK: The freshman year dropout rate has reached an all time high at more than 26 percent (that’s one of every four students) and four of ten students report feeling depressed to the point it was difficult to function. Depression, stress, and drop-outs peak during the SECOND half of the FIRST year. Your son or daughter is coming back home for the holidays! He or she spent months studying for those SATs, filling out college applications and agonizing. Then acceptance! You move your...
7 Deadly Myths About Raising Moral Kids
REALITY CHECK: Parents who raise moral kids don't do so by accident. They are purposeful and deliberate in their efforts. They are also aware that they are the single greatest influence over their child's moral development. Don't let these seven deadly myths stand in your way of raising an ethical child with solid character. Educators, parents, and child experts agree that raising kids with solid character is harder these days. Many of the support systems that used to help our kids grow to...
The Mean Girl Scene
Read the paper lately or heard any of the troubling stories about our girls? It appears many of the sugar and spice set are no longer nice. Here are just a sample appalling recent headlines to refresh your memory: • “Millburn High Senior Girls Create Slut List for Incoming Freshman and Welcome Them By Slamming Them Into Lockers” • “Six Lakeland Teen Girls Assault Former Friend” • “Teen Girls Charged With Abusing Elderly Alzheimer’s Victims At Nursing Home Where They Worked” • “Young Girl...
9 Tips to Get Kids and Teens to READ! (and even like it!)
Studies confirm that children who love to read are more likely to not only succeed in school but also in the workplace. Studies also show that parents play a crucial role particularly on their older kids' reading attitudes and behaviors, as well as helping to find the right book to capture their interest. Here are nine tips from The Big Book of Parenting Solutions I shared recently on the TODAY show to help parents get their kiddoes reading and hopefully even rekindle that great love of the...
Gifted Kid Traits That Might Lead to Potential Problems
Reader note: This blog is part three of a series on my Big Book of Parenting Solutions, written by Sue Scheff, Examiner reporter, parent advocate and author of Google Bomb and Wits End: Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-of-Control Teen. I'll continue to post each of Sue's articles for you as well as the links. This particular topic is one that I receive constant queries from parents about: "Is my child gifted?" I've done over 80 parenting segments on the TODAY show and the one that...
Wish you could have a psychologist at your fingertips? Here’s how says Families Matters
Michele Borba Note to Reader: I've had many review of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions but this one by SFC Blog: Families Matter has to be one of my favorites. I designed the book to be a complete parenting reference. Because it is almost the size of a phonebook and is so comprehensive, it's difficult to explain to a reader not only the contents but the format. But I think this review does it. Thank you, Families Matters - not only for a great review but for the wonderful site you offer...
Michele Borba: Yoursphere – A Great Way to Keep Kids Safe Online
It’s a whole new world and with so many new issues to face when it comes to child rearing these day. Let’s face it, June Clever didn’t have to deal with worrisome parenting challenges such online safety, predators and cyberbullying. One thing is for sure, the Internet is here to stay. It has also become a core part of our children’s social and information highway but we still need to take the time to find out more where our kids are surfing online as well as what services are available to help...
It wasn’t my BB thrown on TODAY show & why I’m really so shocked
Well, this morning had to be my all-time most "interesting" TODAY show appearance. In case you missed it, I've included the link. The four minute spot that aired at 8:16 am live today made AOL's Morning Rush list of the "five most memorable television moments from today" and at least two other comcast.net choices for "interesting TV." Click here to see the spot but here's a basic rundown. I was paired with Frank Luntz, a republican party pollster, who shared what he believes are six...
Part IV: Mean Girls–What Motivates Bullying?
Michele Borba Note to readers: This is the fourth in a series of blogs about relational aggression-or the new mean girl scene-and what educators and parents can do to curb this trend. In past blogs I've discussed the forms of relational aggression, how boys bully vs girls, and the impact of being targeted, and signs that your daughter may be a victim. Today is about what may motivate a girl to be mean and resources you can turn to. The key is to stay educated and connected so we can make a...
Michele Borba: My TODAY segment-When Your Child and His Teacher Just Can’t Get Along
Yesterday I appeared on the TODAY show. Natalle Morales asked me a question that every parent sooner or later faces: "What should you do when your child doesn't like his teacher?" Here are the steps to take to help you navigate this tricky teacher trouble that I shared. You can see the video clip here: http://snackfeed.com/videos/detail/05fa1b9c-2032-102d-80bb-00304897c9c6/How-to-deal-with-kid-teacher-troubles?_s=s ISSUE: Your child complains, "I hate my teacher!" STEP 1: At some point, most...
Relational Aggression and the Impact on Our Girls
Part II The Affect of Relational Aggression (RA) On Girls Michele Borba Note to readers: This is the second in a series of blogs about relational aggression-or the new mean girl scene-and what educators and parents can do to curb this troubling trend. The first step to change is always awareness. And we need to be keenly aware of both the short and long-range impact this behavior can have on our daughters. Make no mistake: Relational Aggression is bullying. Bullying always has three factors: a...